The Ex Files

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This day in age, social media has become a large part of our lives, and as much as we may not want to admit, Facebook isn't "just Facebook" anymore. Liking someone's status, picture, or comment can mean as much as "I really care about you, and am paying attention to what is going on in your life", or as little as "oh hey"; sending someone a friend request can be interpreted as "I want you in my life", or "I want to creep on you"; and deleting someone can either initiate a cut-off, or the mere farewell of an old acquaintance. As you can see, when it comes to Facebook, a lot of big emotions can come from very small gestures.

Earlier this week, I found myself answering this question: My ex (edit: from 5 years ago) sent me a friend request on Facebook. Should I accept it?

It was clear that I had the choice to do one of two things: accept or deny. Being the type of person I am, I began to look into the situation more than I needed to. I figured that even though this person and I were clearly no longer friends, I didn't really have a good reason to deny the request. But then again, I didn't really have a reason to accept it either. So, in the end, I just left it. As my wise friend, N, says: "[leaving the request alone] will give him one of the following two impressions: 1. You didn't see the friend request, or 2. You're thinking about it." So there we go, ladies and gentlemen. No one was hurt, and no unwanted interactions were made. LIKE A BOSS.

Have any of you experienced a similar situation with an ex boyfriend, or even an old friend/classmate from the past? How did it turn out for you?

4 comments

Alyssa May Edwards said...

I have totally experienced a situation similar to this and I denied it..haha I'm not sure your exact situation with your ex or how your relationship was "left off" but I definitely think that has a big input on whether you would wish to "accept" {no pun intended} him back into your life. My situation resulted in denying his request because I didn't care to ever talk to him/see him/ever hear from him again for multiple reasons. I am such a softy though and hate confrontations so I'm proud for doing that haha! I hope you had a great day love!

xoxo,
Alyssa

Miyan said...

hey girl! ive definetly been in an "accept or deny" situation, one of my senior managers requested to be my friend on facebook, not in a creepy way because we have a good employee/ employer relationship, but what do you do??? i ended up accepting and just blocking things he could see about my profile, like photo albums and photos...

i think you should do the same, if you end up accepting his request, just cut him off :)

Miyan
fly far blog

from head 2 toe said...

I just accepted the friend request of mine. I figured he was thinking about me or wanted to see what I was up too, since my profile is private, and added me. Since I haven't thought about him in YEARS... it was more of "sure. I don't care what he knows/thinks". I am happy and if he isn't, it's not my fault. LIKE A BOSS!

Justine said...

@Miyan -- so funny! Accept but limit what he can see. Bahaha

I totally agree that leaving the friend request alone for now is the best choice. (Is this the same boy we talked about earlier this year??) But assuming you two were FB friends/official in the past, who de-friended who? Also how would be-friending him on FB make you feel? Would you snoop around his page? Would you get jealous of what you see/read? Because I know I sure would even though my ex and I have been apart for a little more than a year (hey, who's counting?). An ex is an ex for a reason and depending on how things ended, I really don't see a reason why you two still need to be virtual friends (but if you're nocholant about accepting friend requests and he knows that, maybe it's not a very big deal afterall). But maybe with enough time you'll be like @from head 2 toe and just not care about what he thinks.